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  • Kink and the Kitty

My Forever Home

Updated: Jan 8

I display a ring around my neck. It's delicate and handmade out of silver and gold. In the front, it flows into a V and I love the way it twinkles and gleams in the light. In the back, there are little silver rings that gracefully intertwine and join together with a lock. Its small in size but substantial in meaning.


There's a book that sits on the table under the window. It's surrounded by plants growing into the sunlight. On each side is a candle that lights up every night and the smell of incense and oils permeate the room from the pot nearby. The fountain makes sweet trickling noises and the fire brings warmth to its pages. Inside are photos and quotes like "She looks like a queen but loves like a slave." and "I was a Wolf and she, my moon." There are two creeds inside as well. One of the submissive and one of the Dominant, ending with "And both of them knowing that love is the only binding that truly holds.". And finally, it contains the vows we wrote to each other.


You're probably beginning to think this sounds an awful lot like traditional marriage, and in a sense it is. "So," you ask, "A collar is like a wedding ring?" It can be! But not always. And at the risk of sounding like another piece telling you the basics of what a collar means, I'm just going to direct you here (http://dominantguide.com/2468/the-meaning-of-the-collar/) and then simply tell you my journey instead.

It was just supposed to be sex..hot, dirty sex. The kind of sex you fantasize about. The kind of sex you see in good porn. The first day He left He thought to himself, "That was the most amazing sexual experience I have ever had, and it will probably never happen again." You see, I was married at the time. My husband and I were polyamorous but we were nearing the completion of our relationship. I was undersexed and overindulgent. I wanted more. I wanted Him.

Our play pushed further into the world of tops and bottoms. We both had a basic sense of BDSM but in finding each other, we found the key. It started off playfully. Sometimes I'd wear a play collar and sometimes He'd bind me up. But as both of our primary relationships fell apart and we fell into each other, it became so much more than play. It became an exploration of self and a new kind of relationship. It became a hunger that only He could feed. I was His kitten and He was my Wolf.


After seven months on Christmas Eve, we decided to collar me. A collaring that we would eventually see at a training collar. We didn't really understand the gravity of what we were embarking on. We started joining online groups and reading books to devour this newfound passion. I wanted it to wash over me like a wave, to consume me. They say, " BDSM is what you do. D/s is who you are." and the more we leaned into it the further it began to slither outside of the bedroom.


It started with a few rules and playing with protocol. The more power I gave Him the free-er I felt. I had never trusted someone so fully. Not just with my heart, but my body and my mind. I wanted to serve Him. I needed to belong to Him. The rules turned monotonous chores like taking my vitamins and flossing into foreplay.


I'm not naturally submissive. I'm feisty and strong-willed and most people can't handle me. I have the mouth of a brat and the inability to keep my thoughts to myself. I even consider my boss to be my equal. It's a symbiotic relationship. He needs me as much as I need him and as long as we both do our jobs were on the same level. But this was different. He had this intoxicating power over me. And I found it to be utterly relaxing. For once I could give up control. For once I knew that He desired me as much as I did Him and I just wanted to please Him. He could soothe my fears. He could calm my anxieties. For the first time in years, I wasn't lying awake at night feeling the crushing weight of a boulder on my chest.


And so, on my birthday, in a boutique hotel in the heart of the financial district of San Fransico, He collared me again. The book was a surprise. I had asked Him to send His vow to me for the little ceremony we had planned to do. I remember the look in His eyes as we turned the pages together, slowly reading every quote, every word, getting lost in every sensual photo of the two of us. He had me kneel in front of Him as he locked the collar on me again, but this time it held a different weight. We were bonded at this moment. The sex that followed was some of the most intense sex of my life. It was real and it was raw. There were no toys or bells or whistles. It was just the two of us and for the first time in my life, I begged him to cum inside of me. I yearned to be marked by Him in every way possible. And He did. We came together and He growled as he filled me. I wrapped my legs tight around Him and held Him on top of me for what seemed like a lifetime. I knew I had found my forever home. I knew I was His.


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Your Kinky Kitty,

Jessica RAVAGE

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