• Kink and the Kitty

Get Cliterate - 4 Techniques For Warming Her Up

Updated: Jan 8

This week I thought I'd dive into some education and present you with *queue trumpets* the clitoris! This beautiful little love button can be quite mysterious, but the best way to demystify it is with knowledge. If you don't thank me, she probably will. The most skilled lovers have an understanding of the female sexual anatomy, and I hope to help each of you become the best lover you can be. We'll start by going back to the beginning.

"In the beginning, there was the was the word and the word was..." Whoops! Not that far. Back to your beginning. Back to the womb.

Around 9 weeks a baby's genitalia begins to form into that of a clitoris or a penis. In fact, they're even made up of the same ingredients, down to erectile tissue, and both develop from the genital tubercle. In the female, the genital tubercle will grow into the clitoris. The male genital tubercle will become the penis. Though unlike the 4,000 nerve endings of the penis, the tiny area of the clit has double that amount at 8,000 and can affect up to 15,000 nerve endings throughout the pelvic region. This bundle of nerve endings is why some women don't enjoy direct stimulation. It can be so sensitive that it's overwhelming.

Like the foreskin of the penis, the hood of the clit, also known as the prepuce, is designed to protect the clit. If you lift it up, tucked underneath is the glans clitoris. Translated from Greek, clitoris means "to sheathe" referring to being covered by the labia minora, or can also be translated to "the key." If the key to a man's heart is his stomach, the key to a woman's heart is her jelly bean.

Surprisingly, until 2009 we thought that the clitoris consisted of just the little nub we can see. Thanks to French researchers Dr. Odile Buisson and Dr. Pierre Foldès, who gave the world it’s first complete 3-D sonography of the stimulated clitoris, we now know that the clit extends internally under the labia into the shape of a wishbone. These are also commonly known as the clitoral legs. Much like the penis, the clitoris can become erect from blood flow, and the engorged legs beneath the labia are what causes the pussy to appear puffy. Once the legs of the clit are stimulated the nerve endings come online and start registering pleasure in a way that they don't when it is not erect.

On average only 38% of women can have orgasms without clitoral stimulation. A recent study found that women with smaller clits located further from the vaginal opening had a harder time orgasming. Marie Bonaparte even underwent surgery to relocate her clit, but to her dismay, she was still unable to orgasm from penetration.

Are you still with me? Good! Because this is that part where we get to have a little more fun. Now that you understand the anatomy of the clit you can further understand how to pleasure it.

For most women, we require mental stimulation to begin arousing the erectile tissue. Pay attention to the environment and create a space that will help her feel the most relaxed. Touch her breasts, stomach, inner thighs, etc. Activities such as kissing, or massaging and tickling our skin will prepare us for the most enjoyable experience possible and will start to activate the Bartholin glands. When the clit becomes engorged, the glands produce lubricant preparing the vagina for penetration. This slip will also make massaging the clit more pleasurable for her. Skip going directly for the clit and opt for starting with other techniques such as these.

1. The Vulcan

Start by placing the palm over the clit with your fingers in the shape of a v over the clitoral legs and gently massaging the vulva. This technique will stimulate both the head of the clit and the buried fishbone causing the tissue to become flushed with blood. Teasing the clit like this without direct pressure will allow the body to relax. Rule number one of masturbating a woman is never go straight for the clit. In the beginning always work in a downward motion, keeping her clit tucked in. You want to get her to a place where she is aching for more as opposed to inching back to get away from your overly eager touch. Pay attention to her body language throughout the experience. Is she opening her legs up to you or closing them? Is she pressing into you or pulling away. Listen to her breath and the sounds she makes. Pay attention to these subtle hints to know when she's ready for more. Build the anticipation.

2. The Pincher

Now that the clit is awake slide your fingers up and rest your pointer finger and middle finger on either side of the base of her clit. You can either rotate your fingers in a circular motion or up and down in the movement of a wave. You can also squeeze or pull on the clit in this position without overdoing it because of the location of the fingers.

3. The Dragger

We want the clit lubricated for this next bit, so pull moisture up from her vulva. Use the middle finger to glide up and over the clit gently. You can even use the index and ring fingers to spread her lips open. The index finger tends to be overly aggressive so using the middle finger will maintain a softer, more enjoyable pressure. This dragging motion is just meant to be a light tease. Overstimulating the clit can result in a lack of ability to climax for the duration of the session. You can apply a lubricant if she does not naturally produce enough. I prefer something silky and not sticky such as a silicone lubricant like Pjur.

4. Circle up

From personal experience with my sugar plum and that of the women I've been with, we prefer circles to a furious up and down motion. Here we'll add the pointer finger to the middle, however, still let the middle finger lead. The majority of the pressure will come in the downward motion of the circle. The best way to bring a woman to orgasm is with steady strength and movement. Erratic movements will break the energy and pull her back from her climax. Consistency is why sex toys come in handy. They provide a constant repetitive motion.

Now that her clit is fully erect, her pussy is wet, and her mind is soft, you can introduce a variety of other techniques and forms of play. Remember, there's nothing wrong with getting a little help from your partner. Ask her how the pressure is. Watch her masturbate and pay attention to what she's doing. She will orgasm best if you replicate the motions she makes. No clit is the same. Some are big some are small. Some are more sensitive than others. If you can bring her to orgasm through masturbation, you will have one happy kitty on your hands.

And don't forget, always trim your nails.

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Your Kinky Kitty,

Jessica RAVAGE

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